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sillydoh

by misty stella

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1.
sentridoh 00:56
2.
of course a shoemaker and you’re the star ill never reach but ill think of you like i do my doll the world has had its fair share of bad things but i’m just scared under the weeping willow tree i dream up things that aren’t real in between gooseberry bushes i always longed for glowing eyes even though dreams satisfy me ice will crystallize my body ill pretend we’ll just hold hands you’ll pull me in i’ll pull away you know me i’d do it that way
3.
my cage is still here, it only became clear it's not locked, there was never a key even feeble hands could open it like a normal door but i keep cutting mine up on the copper bars i thought i had walked far i know i'm in a dream this bridge won't lead me anywhere i look up no luck that's why i never do that i sent him away and now he's gone very well i'll have to trouble him no more a vase in pieces on the floor i put up a plaque by it to name it but sometimes i forget its display its shards make my toes bleed the things not fixed will always be broken
4.
i wish i knew how you really feel about me i'm trying to let myself tell you though i'm unsure i'm afraid, but i know i'll feel whatever you feel like how you'll come with me wherever i go putting pins on a mercator map of the places we'll dream to go if you hold my hand i'll take you to lay in green moss glove trees
5.
thorne room 02:00
she feels nothing get it out of her head you're not them everything's not a competition she buys new shoes to walk more places to get away but she'll always take the train back home nothing ends nothing ever ends she's empty again a fire inside she's tried to douse it's smaller now but still everybody smells it when she sweats it out she's a dummy she just wants to play pretend her dreams inside a little thorne room she'll fit inside the victorian drawing room
6.
gooseberry bushes in a glen i walk through copses i pretend penny dolls with greet me at the door with amber wigs in their hands the trees have fungi grown like lungs it's dull i yawn i'm lymphatic the cows and sheep, they ruminate through fog and mist rays still shine in it's all the same but i'm different i don't belong but i never did she's bored with ivy covered ashlar born to live, do nothing but wander never distraught by teetering trees it'll take me time to acquiesce it'll all be familiar soon the owls hoot not so dreadful loneliness not so lonelu the stone floor not so cold
7.
pendant 02:02
bored of Newport home tours but still scared of the dark i thought i left but i'll always be here this london summer my goosebumps outside no need to stop it a need to continue i want you to pull my hair slap my cheek and wake me up get me to crack open all that i'm missing what's holding me back is my own pendant i saw in her home in my dream i don't deserve you i'm the girl that waits and waits and doesn't do anything i wish i didn't feel guilty for feeling something i always catch myself i never fall you'll never see me fall
8.
mercury 03:09
i'd doubt everything but i'm doubting different things now i'd fear everything before but i'm fearing different things now you're making me loose and crazy you're carving holes into my skull letting mercury spill and pool quicksilver and sweet on the floor i always have listened to myself though i was always wrong no one allowed to control what i think what i believe i'm letting you hold one of my marionette strings don't think i don't know that you're gonna let it go how will i go on? i probably won't, i'll get hurt before i always held both with hands i don't own

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summer feelings

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released August 9, 2021

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misty stella Ridgefield, Connecticut

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